Ask and the Lord Shall Giveth

And on the 11th day, the Lord sayeth "Let Hadley poop"!

Now why didn't I think to make a shout out when I was pregnant, eating bran/flaxseed muffins, chugging Metamucil, and throwing down 7 prunes at a time with a Milk of Magnesia Chaser?

On the Pooping Prayer Chain

I've been beginning a lot of my posts with "When we were in the Hospital". Here I'll just say, during our unfortunate stay with the delightful staff at Children's, Hadley's name and our family were on quite a few prayer lists throughout the country. My mother had all of Connecticut covered with every American Baptist Church in the state. My aunt informed me that the Catholics in San Antonio, Texas were praying for us. I believe we had quite a few shout outs from Iowa, Colorado, and Arizona as well. With that many people talking to God, no wonder God listened. Even though we have been home from the hospital now for over a week, we remain in people's prayers and Hadley's face has been inserted into many the church bulletin.

Just tonight, my dad informed me that he has some Catholic friends in Connecticut now praying for Hadley to poop. (Note: She has not pooped on her own since April 9, and it has now been 9 days since she has gone at all. The stimulation, massage, and suppositories are not working. We have moved on to Milk of Magnesia, which I have a case of left over from my pregnancy.) It warms the cockles of my heart, (and not just because I LOVE poop talk) to think that the bowel movements of my baby girl are in the prayers of people across the country. A pooping prayer chain, no request too big or too small I guess.

And so, we are now in countdown to poop mode. Come on poopy diaper.

Just Another Run of the Mill Friday Night

There I was on Friday night, checking out at Walgreens with the above items. I was so sure that the cashier was thinking "Whoa, she's about to have an exciting week-end". She didn't even blink an eye.

Along with the rest of her body, Hadley's bowels have not caught up to her muscle strength (ie. she's not pooping). And one very valuable lesson that I have learned from my father, "Your ouput NEEDS to equal your input!" At the hospital, the nurses took care of the daily suppositories. I was hoping that this would be DGs job when we got home, but I drew the small pinky finger, so got stuck with the task. Just another part of parenting they don't mention in the baby manuals.

The Trifecta

Last night, at 1:30 a.m. I was not wearing any pants, I had a baby attached to my boob with just a diaper on, and I was trying to stay awake by watching the X Files. Suddenly, I felt moisture running down my belly. After a few seconds of trying to figure out what was happening, I realized baby girl's diaper was full or on wrong or whatever. Quickly, I ran her to the changing table and as my nipple flew out of her mouth I sprayed her in the eye with milk. See, two can play at this game. After scrubbing us both down with wipes, I settled back down on the couch to finish our nightly snack. Suddenly, it felt like a freight train had run over my leg. Yes, someone (not me) has filled their diaper. *crap* literally. I headed back to the diaper changer, got her cleaned up and as we settled down again, projectile spit up came out of nowhere and covered my legs. It's like winning the trifecta of bodily fluids.

The Poop Chronicles Part Deux

Right after the holidays, when the family had left, I was back in the routine of changing Hadley's diaper. One morning, I found myself without my glasses on as I was face deep in crack trying to get it clean. All of a sudden, she let out some warning gas, which startled me as I dodged a speeding bullet. As I let out a nervous giggle over the close call, the real fireworks were about to begin as the next round of ammunition shot out of her. It flew across the room, hitting the dresser, covering it with hot mustardy poop. I was in awe, as it reminded me of being in Disney Land where they have the fountains with water that shoot from one location to another, over the crowds heads. My first reaction was to yell for DG, to come check this shit out. *pun* But then the final round came out and shot across the room hitting the floor over 5 feet away! I couldn't have been more suprised if she had beat me in a watermelon seed spitting contest.

Oh yeah, and not only does poop smell, but poop stains too. Oh the lessons we learn. Baby + Poop = Fun

Poop in Your Hand

Day 5, I got a call from Hadley's room to come help change her. DG was experiencing the first shooting of pee all over the changing pad. As I was distracting her and grabbing a new changing pad, he was holding her legs up to keep her butt out of the fresh pee. With his right hand under her behind, she figured this was as good a time as any to poop right in the middle of his hand. It was a combination of meconium and milk poo, and looked like a perfect lotion dispenser. He and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

DG: (laughing) What do I do?
Me: (guffawing) Ummm, go wash it off?

Sometimes, sleep deprivation corrodes common sense. Also, I think I missed this chapter in the book. What do you mean what goes in must come out?